My Brief Dating Journey :)

So, a little about me... I'm 45 years old and have never had a boyfriend. Shocker, I know! Well, that is until this year. Actually, there are many of us out there. Trust me, I've met them. LOL!

Although, I've never had a boyfriend until this year it doesn't mean I haven't been on my fair share of dates. Many have been fun and others not so much! So, this is a little story of my brief dating journey, spoiler alert it didn't last long. It pretty much ended as soon as it started. Though technically that's how it went down the truth is this relationship was a long time coming! 

Hope you have a little snack to munch on! It might get a little interesting. Perhaps, some popcorn and a little cafe con leche!

So, here goes...

At the end of 2024, I surrendered my desire to be married and more specifically my desire for a certain someone (a long time friend). I had given it to GOD so many times before but this time I was finally done. I didn't want to long for something that clearly wasn't for me. Though it hurt indeed, I felt very peaceful in finally laying it down. However, I think GOD had other plans! 

After surrendering it to the LORD, I went on a trip to Utah with my family for the New Year! I was a little sad because in previous years I spent that time with him, his family, and mutual friends. But since I decided to move on I went on the trip (actually, I didn't have a choice according to my sister in law - lol). However, the trip was fun and refreshing! It was also a little scary since I thought there might be a chance for an avalanche pretty much everyday, because every time we got in the car we heard a radio alert. It turns out that's just an every day common occurrence during the winter months in Utah but back to the point!

After the trip, I had so much momentum! It was a new year and I was determined to have a great 2025! So about two weeks into the new year, I got a text message from my "sweet friend" wanting to get together to catch up. I thought it was a little strange since the last time we saw each other was not that long ago...it was in November of last year. So, a little throwback for context sake. Somehow I believe GOD had orchestrated for my friend and I to have a hang out day back in November. We didn't plan it but it somehow worked out that way. Somehow we were both at the same brunch and then decided to hang out. We ended up spending most of the day just catching up! I remember leaving and thinking how wonderful that was! Mind you, my "sweet friend" is really a fun guy. ANY time spent with him is literally a blessing! Hence, why I refer to him as my "sweet friend". 

Moving on to the story, I prayed about how to respond to his invitation to catch up since I didn't want to stir up any emotions I had recently surrendered. Now, you're probably thinking duh, why would you even say, yes? But the reason why I said yes was because he hadn't asked me to do anything for a long time so I thought he simply wanted to share something with me. And I was going to show up as a "friend". It wasn't in my heart to show up as anything else. I felt so much peace that I had truly surrendered it.

Well, as the story goes...we met up, caught up and he asked me out! Yep, that's right! There are little more details here and there but I'll spare yall my long winded version since this is already long enough. Another part of the story for context sake is that he and I had discussed our feelings towards each other a couple times before in previous years. So, it seemed like my prayers that I had prayed for many times before were finally being answered. I remember being very sober-minded about it. I think it was because I thought that door had closed and so I didn't expect it. 

Which leads me to the "brief" part of the story. We dated for about two months! From start to finish, he literally was pretty amazing. He was very intentional and clear. This time there was no ambiguity but lots of clarity. Our interactions were always so seamless and smooth. We've never felt uncomfortable or awkward with each other. A lot of it had to do with just our long history of being good friends. So we had that going for us. We genuinely enjoyed each other's company. It was never hard. It was such a fun time. And a sweet journey learning to navigate this new world we were in. He was so kind and there was always so much peace hanging out with him. I felt the grace of GOD in our time together. 

However, because it was a new thing for both of us we wanted to make sure we handled it maturely and wisely. We decided to take it one step at a time. We knew we had felt things for each other in the past but wondered if we could move out of the friend zone. Could we truly see each other as more. It didn't take long for us to realize we could. It wasn't hard. But still, we wanted to honor GOD first and foremost so we kept moving slowly. In the past, we didn't pursue it because we never felt "peace" about it. I never understood why, I didn't feel peace. I honestly thought it was a timing issue. So, when this time came around it made sense that it seemed like GOD was opening the door and this was the right time. Well, as they say, "third times a charm" so I thought! 

However, there's a first time for everything, and this third time was not the charm! It saddens me to bring you to the conclusion of the story and my dating relationship with my "sweet friend". After much discussion and prayer we didn't feel peace about moving forward. There were outside variables that presented themselves and we prayed about them and felt more peaceful not moving forward. We felt we needed to humble ourselves before the LORD and lay the relationship down if need be. I don't believe relationships are supposed to be that hard. I'm not saying that relationships don't require work or that they don't get hard at times but what I am saying is that the dating part of the relationship should be easy and fun. I think that's how GOD designed it to be light-hearted and fun! Though that was our relationship in essence it wasn't the case in the practical. It felt like we kept trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It felt like we kept facing obstacles that were out of our control. As if maybe GOD was allowing these things to help us take note and step back. 

I don't regret taking this journey with my sweet friend one bit. I'm so grateful to GOD for the opportunity. It was a longing fulfilled. A lot of prayer requests were answered even if they were only temporary. I don't know what to make of that but some things are above my pay grade and that's ok. I have a box categorized and labeled "It doesn't make sense but that's ok" and I've come to have peace with that. In the end, I don't have to understand. It would be nice but sometimes even when I do understand it doesn't help. What I do know is that this journey has taught me some very important things and I'm sure it'll still teach me things as I continue to process it. But right off the bat, it showed me how to not let fear hold me back. Most of my life, I've made choices or held back because of fear of disobeying GOD and possibly messing up my life. But this journey has taught me that if I seek to honor GOD, HE will guide me and even let me try things with "guard rails" so that I don't miss it! I truly felt HIS right hand holding me by the hand and guiding me through it all. Even now, I sense HIS guidance and Presence in writing this as I process it all. 

Yes, I would've loved this story to have had a different ending but all in all, it's always been about pleasing the LORD and it will always be about pleasing the LORD. And I feel confident that we both did that. We stepped into this relationship in faith and we stepped out of this relationship in faith as well. Only the LORD knows what's next and that's ok by me! The end...for now.

Thank you for reading because the LORD knows, I needed to get this off my chest! I hope this story bears much fruit. I pray it blesses someone who might be going through the same thing. To know you're not alone. GOD loves you and will guide you, just let HIM. If it's from GODs hand I believe it will come back to you! I heard someone say, if you ever have an opportunity to have an Isaac moment. Take it! Go ahead and trust GOD to lay it down on the altar. And trust HIM to provide a ram or give you back that thing. You don't have to strive! GOD bless!

The day of our November catch up.